Why Can't I Get a Girlfriend?

Guys that ask this question seem to have one thing in common: They don't feel like they are in control of their relationships. It's not uncommon to hear a guy complain about women being difficult or wanting too much or blah blah blah

Stop generalizing women and accept that the specific woman you are having problems with just isn't the right one for you. By generalizing women as unattainable and difficult, you give up all of your possible hope for a relationship with any woman. You allow your happiness to be controlled by a few negative experiences and women that couldn't care less about you.

Women can smell desperation, bitterness, and passive-aggressive behavior from miles away. If you're allowing past experiences to rule your life they usually can tell. When you fail with a woman, you only fail with ONE WOMAN. She has nothing to do with the other billions of women on the planet.

You can get a girlfriend....

• Just not with a Victoria's Secret model looking chick if you don't have what she's looking for in a man
• Just not with an ambitions and motivated woman if you can barely keep a job
• Just not with an extremely intelligent woman if you can't keep up with her in a conversation
• Just not with a woman that's made it clear that she's looking for a serious relationship when you're being sketchy because you only want to be FWB
• Just not with a woman that has friends and a life if you just want to sit at home all the time and do nothing
• Just not with a stable, fun, and secure woman if you aren't stable, fun, and secure
• Just not with mature, marriage material women if you insist on dating the same way you did when you were in high school

See the trend here? You have to accept that relationships are two-sided. It's not just about what you want and what you're looking for. She has needs that have to get met too and if you can't meet them, don't expect to be considered worth her time. Are your expectations aligned with what you can actually offer women?

Five Things You Can Do Right Away to Improve Your Chances with Women

I recently joined a forum about dating and it's depressing how many "beta" guys are upset because women "don't like nice guys." The questions they ask and their bitter posts reveal that they have no idea what they're doing. You can be a nice guy. Lots of women like nice guys... that aren't afraid to ask them out or make a move.

1) Stop Telling Women They Are Attractive
It's okay to do this sparingly but most hot women know that they are hot. There are plenty of idiots that are already telling her this on a regular basis. By being consistent, charismatic, and fun to talk to you're already showing her you're interested. Use compliments sparingly and don't allow them to become the main topic of the conversation.

2) Stop Sucking at Communication
Stop texting and just call her. Texting is only good for confirming date times, sharing some random hilarious thing that just happened, or when she specifically asks you to. Are you afraid to call because you're shy and awkward? So what? If you get the nerve to ask her out she'll definitely see how awkward you are in person on a date. At least you found out that she's not interested before you wasted a Saturday and $100+ on a date.

3) Stop Thinking in "Leagues" and Putting Women on Pedestals
One of the most annoying habits I've noticed is that guys want to know how to speak to a woman they have a crush on. As if this one specific woman doesn't adhere to the same rules of space, time, and human frailty that everyone else does. Whether she's hot, smart, funny, Muslim, Christian, accomplished, well-educated, or anything else you find intimidating SHE'S STILL JUST ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. Just talk to her. She's either going to like you or not. Stop being afraid to approach women. If she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you. That is the truth whether you muster up the courage to ask her out or not.

4) Stop Overanalyzing Everything
I think this is probably where most "nice guys" put themselves in the friendzone the most. You look at everything a girl says and does and try to find out what it means until you miss the opportunity to actually ask her out. Then you complain that she "friendzoned" you. Just go for it. Will you ask some women out and get rejected? Yes. Would it be better than torturing yourself with "what if's?" In my opinion, yes. Do I make an ass out of myself sometimes by just going for it? Absolutely. It makes for good laughs later. I have yet to meet someone who died or was severely psychologically damaged from being rejected. Other than the possible interest of one woman, there really isn't anything to lose.

5) Make Your Intentions Clear
I recently read this post:

There was a time I asked a woman out on a date, right... she calls me back and asked me, "When you asked me out, did you mean for a date?"

Of course what I was thinking (Um, yeahhhhh...what rock have you been living under).


You're doing it wrong if a woman has to call and clarify that you're asking her on a date. This guy is obviously oblivious to the fact that he isn't sending women clear signs of interest. Stop being a wuss and let women know what your intentions are when you ask them out.

Are You Too Thirsty?

Recent reports show that 1 in 5 men suffer from extreme thirst. Urban Dictionary describes the thirst as:

"An epidemic that seems to be spreading fast. Where a male or female does anything for the opposite sex because they are yearning for attention or sex. Only way to be cured is to get what they are desperately needing. Seems incurable"

Causes

Experts say that the thirst is caused by lack of dignity and self-respect.

Symptoms

Text Abuse

You send multiple messages before the other person even responds. This may start off as simple “hey” messages every few hours, but often end in thirst rage.

Thirst Rage

Girl never responds to your messages so you get pissed off. You show her what she's missing out on by making a complete dick of yourself. Here's an example.

Acute Cluelessness

Anyone in their right mind can see that you have no chance in hell but you're completely blind to the fact that the other person isn't interested in you.

TMI Syndrome

You send detailed explicit messages to people that have shown no sexual interest in you at all. ***Proceed with caution. Nastiness ahead***

How Can You Minimize Your Thirstiness?

Let It Go: Stop harassing people when they don't return your messages.

Avoid Thirst Traps: Some women post pictures or say things to induce the thirst. Ignore them at all costs.

Play It Cool: Being thirsty will never get you attention or laid. If it's someone you seriously want to get with then do your best to act normal.

The One

The idea of there being one specific person out there especially for you has to be one of the most idiotic things I've ever heard. Soulmates do not exist. There are plenty of common sense reasons why it's not possible.

1) Most of Us Would Die Alone

If throughout all of time there is only one person that perfectly meets your needs there's a HUGE chance you won't speak the same language, live in the same country, or even live in the same time period.

2) Older Generations Compromised

Those perfect couples you admire in your family have marital issues like everyone else. Believing your grandparents are soulmates is so stupid that it's cute.

Our grandparents didn't have the Internet. The only people they could choose from lived in a 100-mile radius in most cases.

What does that mean? Your granddad had to choose a woman based on the best combination of looks and personality available to him at the time. His brain and disco stick did the picking. Nothing overly romantic about it.

3) No Spiritual Support
 
Typically the girls I date are some kind of Christian and they will argue that it's in the Bible. Sorry to tell you this but it's not. There is no scientific or biblical support for soulmates. It just doesn't exist.

Truth is there's plenty of people that are able to make you happy. It's all about timing, dedication, and passion. Any relationship where both people effectively communicate, take care of each others' needs selflessly, and genuinely enjoy spending time together can work.

Breyers Makes Gelato!

Maybe I'm just super late but apparently Breyers makes gelato now. If you're like me, this information just made your day. It's actually pretty good and comes in Vanilla Caramel, Raspberry Cheesecake, Tiramisu, and Triple Chocolate. I had Tiramisu and it was freaking awesome!

Random post over.

How to Write an Awesome Online Dating Profile Using Marketing Tactics

I'm starting to see that online dating is a lot like digital marketing. You create awesome content with valuable information, use keywords, and quality photos to convert "visitors" into "clients" or in the case of online dating, actual messages. So why not try to loosely apply some copy writing practices to online dating?

1) "Research"
Before you start typing a single word you should assess what you want and think from the point of view of your "target market." Since people typically want to date others that share their interests, you should assess what characteristics you have that your ideal mate would be looking for. If you're an outdoorsy guy looking for an outdoorsy girl, do you really want to read about how much she likes wine and cats? Probably not, right? So make sure you include interests that your dream guy or girl would have as well. If you love being outdoors then mention it! If you want to date someone into indie music, make sure your profile talks about your love for obscure bands that no one has heard of.

2) Who Are You?
If you don't know, you're not ready for a relationship anyway. If you at least have some inkling of who you are as a person you should be able to pull off a decent "About Me" section. People online want to know exactly what they're "buying" without having to invest much time. A genuine and interesting profile won't get you every attractive person but it will get you QUALITY people.

I know that injecting personality into a wall of text is difficult but it can be done! Just be true to yourself! I'd be happy to help anyone who needs it. Your privacy will be respected.

3)  Make It Easy to Message You
If you're like many women, you believe getting a message that says "hey" means the guy is too lazy.  In reality guys just have it really hard. After spending time trying to construct funny and sweet messages for multiple girls without getting any messages back, it starts to seem like a meaningless endeavor. Trying to write a message based on an awful profile is pretty difficult. Give guys opportunities to talk to you by providing interesting information your profile. Ask a question in your profile, be specific about your interests and talents, or write something silly that is hard to ignore. These are all great ways to turn views into actual messages.

4) Stop Being Negative
ANY negativity on a profile makes you seem bitter and lame. Every person in their right mind doesn't want to "play games" and no matter how many times you say "don't message me unless you're intelligent" you'll still get plenty of messages from idiots.  Besides, do you really think time wasters and idiots even bother to read your profile? They got stuck at "yer hawt" and decided to message you based on a couple of pictures.

Warning:
Do not write a novel. Since I'm conducting an experiment I actually make the effort to read profiles. There are plenty that make me want to flip a table over because they're so LONG. No one's going to read it. From your profile, guys just need to know you're cute, nice, have a sense of humor, interesting, and not crazy or married.

What's My "Type?"

I get emails from readers that want to know what I look for in a woman and why. Personally, I don't think it would be very helpful for you guys. To answer the question, my type is the type that's attracted to me. Instead of expecting a woman that I have nothing in common with to be interested in me, I make it easy for myself by focusing on women that like guys like me.

What Are These Women Like?

Since I create multiple profiles in different cities for the sake of research, it's pretty easy for me to determine exactly what I like and what type of women like me. I'd say that the women I'm most interested in are usually brunette, sarcastic as hell, quick-witted, much smarter than I am, ballsy, cheeky, and well-traveled.