Sunday, March 16, 2014

Online Dating: Don't Message Me If You're Going to Just Say "Hey"

I'm pretty sure one of the most common "complaints" from women in online dating is about the respectful and simple message, "hey, how are you?" But have you asked yourself, "do I make it easy for guys to send me more than a simple message?"

Reasons Why You Receive Lame Messages

1) Your Profile is Lame
If your profile doesn't show personality then don't expect messages from guys with personality. If you want to receive funny and interesting messages then create a funny and interesting profile. If a guy's profile listed all the things he doesn't want I guarantee he would never get a response from a woman but it seems like women think it's okay to have a list of "requirements." Imagine reading this:
"You Should Message Me If:
You're not crazy
You won't make me wait forever to have sex
You can actually hold a conversation
I won't have to hangout with your annoying friends
You're okay with never having my full attention
You're at least ____ft tall
You look like a model
You are Asian, Hispanic, or something other than black or white
I know the last three are shallow but that's just what I like. Thank you for understanding!"

I've seen the female equivalent to this so many times it's ridiculous. Even if a guy meets all of your "requirements" there's a good chance he won't message you just because you seem like a jerk.

2) You Don't Provide Opportunities for Conversation
Most guys that are serious about dating actually do take time to research the best approaches. One of the most common tips is to use the information from a woman's profile to create a funny first message that shows that you actually read her profile. But what good does that do if her profile doesn't offer any opportunities for a you to message her? Think about it, what if you passed up a genuine, interesting, and funny guy just because he couldn't find anything interesting about you from your profile?

Read your profile from someone else's perspective or have a friend read it for you. If you can't find anything interesting about yourself then don't expect anyone else to. I'd be happy to review your profile for you.


3) Learn How to Participate in Conversations
It's pretty clear that many women online simply expect men to completely carry the conversation. But if you're only sending lazy one-word responses when a guy bothers to send an interesting and funny first message, then why should he continue to make soooo much effort to keep the conversation going when there are literally 100s of other girls he could talk to? Like everything else in a relationship, communication goes both ways. If you're already showing you can't commit to a simple conversation then why should anyone bother getting to know you?

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